I Was the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: An Interview.
The Austrian Oak is universally recognized as an Hollywood heavyweight. Yet, in the midst of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also delivered several genuinely hilarious comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its 35-year mark this winter.
The Role and An Iconic Moment
In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger embodies a hardened detective who goes undercover as a elementary educator to catch a killer. For much of the film's runtime, the crime storyline serves as a simple backdrop for the star to have charming scenes with children. Without a doubt the standout belongs to a little boy named Joseph, who unprompted rises and states the actor, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger responds dryly, “Thanks for the tip.”
The boy behind the line was portrayed by child star Miko Hughes. Beyond this role included a recurring role on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the pivotal role of the child who returns in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with several projects on the horizon. He also frequently attends fan conventions. He recently shared his recollections from the set of Kindergarten Cop after all this time.
Memories from the Set
Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
That's remarkable, I have no memory from being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?
Yeah, to a degree. They're flashes. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My parents, primarily my mom would take me to auditions. Often it was a mass tryout. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all just have to wait, go into the room, be in there less than five minutes, deliver a quick line they wanted and then leave. My parents would help me learn the words and then, as soon as I could read, that was some of the first material I was reading.
Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?
He was extremely gentle. He was fun. He was good-natured, which I suppose isn't too surprising. It would be strange if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a good work environment. He was fun to be around.
“It'd be weird if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”
I was aware he was a big action star because my family informed me, but I had not actually watched his movies. I felt the importance — he was a big deal — but he didn't frighten me. He was just fun and I only wanted to hang out with him when he was available. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd flex and we'd be dangling there. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was a major status symbol. That was the must-have gadget, that funky old yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It wore out in time. I also have a real silver whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.
Do you remember your experience as being fun?
You know, it's funny, that movie was this cultural thing. It was such a big movie, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the legendary director, visiting Astoria, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was just released. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the older kids would ask for my help to pass certain levels on games because I was able to, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember anything about it? Did you know what you were saying?
At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word shocking meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it got a big laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given approval in this case because it was funny.
“My mom thought hard about it.”
How it was conceived, from what I understand, was they were still developing characters. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it was more of a collaboration, but they refined it on set and, reportedly the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, I need time" and took a day or two. She really wrestled with it. She said she was hesitant, but she believed it would likely become one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and her instinct was correct.